Woa

I have been married for five days. My husband will be here tomorrow! ...lol that makes it sound like I ordered him in the mail. :) I love him more than anything.
On a less awesome note: my battle buddy got tired of watching me get more depressed and... tired I guess... and now I have a series of behavioral health appointments. Hopefully whatever they decide to will work very very fast so that I can continue being a good soldier, so that I can finally feel genuinely happy again, and so that my husband won't have to compensate for my lack of energy or unwillingness to open up. Whatever happens, I want to keep my husband, stay Active Duty, and for the depression to stop now. Having my husband here all the time will definitely help!

Embrace the suck

I signed my contract to be a linguist. I was assigned Arabic. I do not love this language or any of its attached cultures, however, I have managed to stop hating it. I have failed every single test, and feel irretrievably behind my classmates.
I am now getting what I want to some extent though, I'm being dropped from the course for lack of ability. This drop will be cancelled if by some miracle I manage to achieve a passing test score before the drop has gone through.
I love my classmates so very much, and feeling like I'm losing... a good chunk of who I've turned into. That, and I absolutely hate knowing that I've failed. Failed at the one task I had to complete. I have to fight feeling like/saying that I'm a failure.
I'm also feeling really apprehensive about what the Army will do with me. I don't know if they'll assign me a new language, give me a job I actually want, put me somewhere I don't want to be... I guess it's just time to embrace the suck again... and I guess hope for a miracle...

Auf Wiedersehen

In this month, a ton has changed. Feelings, understanding of people I care about, physical abilities... who knew July could be so eventful??

Goodness!

Just thinking

The greatest invitation from a guy: "Put on your gym clothes and come over, we are going to watch a movie!" Seriously, how is that not the best way to watch a movie? I loved it.

I like to read Conference talks and other articles on the internet when I have the time. Yesterday I was reading this article about preparing for marriage, and chastity (y'know, the most common topics in Young Women's), and I came across this really cool concept. I don't remember what article it was in, but the author basically said that when you say "I love you," it's not supposed to simply be an expression of condition. It's supposed to be a promise. Saying "I love you" should mean, "I care about you a great deal, and am willing to work constantly to see that you are happy and taken care of."

Just thought that was worth sharing, and remembering.

DL and CA

Disney Land/California Adventures is awesome!!! Favorites: Grizzly River Run (Cali), Pirates of the Caribbean (Disney), Splash Mountain (Disney), Screamin' California (Cali), Space Mountain (Disney).

Also, Fantasmic, was flippin' amazing!!!! Maleficent is HUGE!! and she lights the whole river on fire!

oh man...

These past couple of weeks have been ridiculous! I learned a lot about me. I also learned some scary things about a few people that I know. Also I learned some very good things about someone else. For this week though, I think I want to be done learning about anyone.

Tomorrow, I'm going to DISNEY LAND!!! First time! Woot Woot!!!

mm.

Sometimes, life is... bizarre. And unsettling.

But you know what? Miss Amber Martin is fantastic, and makes me feel better/more settled.

And i'm sure that Miss Hannah Done will be pretty great about it too.